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 One HARDCOVER copy of the novel Cow Country signed by author Adrian Jones Pearson
 
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 Description One HARDCOVER copy of the novel Cow Country signed by author Adrian Jones Pearson
 
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 Add or remove a comma of your choice in all future versions of Cow Country! (And receive one signed paperback with the change.)
 
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 0 backers Limited reward (3 left of 3)
 
 Non-CECC donors who give at this level will be invited to attend the Christmas Masquerade itself on March 20. That's right! Your name will be included in the attendee list in all future versions of Cow Country! (You will also receive one signed hardcover edition confirming your attendance at the event.) NOTE: If you choose this option, please indicate your desired costume (i.e., a figure from American history), otherwise one will be assigned to you.
 
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 Description Non-CECC donors who give at this level will be invited to attend the Christmas Masquerade itself on March 20. That's right! Your name will be included in the attendee list in all future versions of Cow Country! (You will also receive one signed hardcover edition confirming your attendance at the event.) NOTE: If you choose this option, please indicate your desired costume (i.e., a figure from American history), otherwise one will be assigned to you.
 
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 Here at Cow Eye Community College, our accreditors are due to visit us in mid-March during the traditional accreditation season, and so we have decided to reschedule our annual faculty/staff Christmas party to coincide with their visit. In doing so, we hope that this event will serve as a symbol of all that is life-affirming in the world: the coming of eternal spring, the promise of re-emerging life, the birth and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and, most importantly, the re-affirmation of our college's regional accreditation. Instead of conducting this annual gathering as a single two-hour event as we have in the past, this year we will hold it over several days. In fact, we will organize an entire week's worth of Christmas festivities to take place in honor of the accrediting team's visit: a Christmas Week! Our Christmas Week will be a coordinated series of activities that will be intricately planned and meticulously implemented. Having our celebration over an entire week in March will also give us more time to impress our accreditors, to unify our faculty, and to build gradually toward the ultimate culmination of events at the Christmas party itself on March twentieth.One of the key elements of the party will be its emphasis on diversity. Atheists. Anti-socials. Agnostics. All will be welcomed into the small cafeteria on March 20. Vegetarian and anti-vegetarian. Friend and foe. Specialist and generalist. Sunni and Shiite. The poet. The empiricist. The agoraphobe. The dreamer. The cliometrician. All of them will be encouraged to come to our Christmas party on March 20 where they will be treated to a truly inspiring, a genuinely sensational, an eminently toe-curling and earth-shattering Christmas yuletide experience.
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 RISK #1: Because this culminating event will be taking place in the small cafeteria, there is a chance that we will not be able to fit all the competing factions into such a confined segment of time and space and/or that there will be a high risk of conflict at the event. In anticipation of this challenge, we intend to order special tables and chairs to accommodate the various faculty and staff in attendance. Moreover, seating will be thoughtfully assigned to ensure harmony and respectful interaction throughout the event. RISK #2: There are rumors circulating that certain key faculty will decline to attend the party due to their own selfish dietary allegiances. Should this happen, there is a very real risk that others will follow and that the entire premise of the all-inclusive, unifying event will be undermined. To ensure that this does not happen, we have taken great pains to reassure the competing sides of the aisle that the menu will be both robust and tailored to their unique pedagogical tendencies. We have also hired professional lobbyists to convince all faculty and staff of the vital importance to our school and its community of achieving 100% attendance at this Christmas accreditation masquerade. RISK #3: Of course there is always a chance that the scene will be interrupted by an unexpected (and uninvited) visit from Thomas Pynchon. Specifically, because the scene will be a masquerade, there is an increased likelihood that Mr. Pynchon will attempt to sneak into the event disguised as an important figure from American history - or that he will be able to use his anonymity and a dearth of publicly available photographs to pass himself off as one of the college's institutional accreditors. To prevent this from happening, we will ask Timmy at the front entrance to screen all incoming faculty and staff for proper CECC credentials. Attendees will also be asked to remove any masks or costumes for inspection before entering the room, and all attendees will be subject to full body cavity searches as necessary. (Let's see Mr. Privacy and his high-paid team of literary insiders try to extricate the shoulder-length glove out of THAT!) In short, we have taken all possible precautions to ensure that this celebration of regional accreditation and cultural inclusiveness will be a truly memorable milestone in the rapidly unfolding history of Cow Eye Community College.
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  Located in the bucolic town of Cow Eye Junction in the heart of the Diahwa Valley basin, Cow Eye Community College is a regionally accredited institution of higher learning that strives to offer a well-rounded liberal arts and technical education to its students so that they may lead fulfilling and productive lives. As stewards of the local community, we also believe that we have a special obligation to perpetuate the unique culture of the area we serve both for present and future generations. Students at Cow Eye CC are given tools to succeed in an ever-changing world through rich and diverse curricular experiences delivered by award-winning instructors and with a wide array of resources to support their learning. Graduates of Cow Eye have gone on to acheive renown both locally and abroad in fields such as business, nursing, carpentry, journalism, architecture, linguistics, early childhood education, and animal husbandry.
  
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Cow Eye Community College Yuletide Extravaganza & Masquerade

Cow Eye Community College

Help us bring to reality our Christmas Masquerade and Springtime Extravaganza for Regional Accreditation & Student Success!
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Cow Eye Community College Yuletide Extravaganza & Masquerade
Cow Eye Community College

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Cow Eye Community College Yuletide Extravaganza & Masquerade: Cow Eye Community College

Funding goal: $27,500.00

Funding ends: Mon, Mar 21 2016 12:00 AM HAST

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About this project

Here at Cow Eye Community College, our accreditors are due to visit us in mid-March during the traditional accreditation season, and so we have decided to reschedule our annual faculty/staff Christmas party to coincide with their visit. In doing so, we hope that this event will serve as a symbol of all that is life-affirming in the world: the coming of eternal spring, the promise of re-emerging life, the birth and resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and, most importantly, the re-affirmation of our college's regional accreditation.

Instead of conducting this annual gathering as a single two-hour event as we have in the past, this year we will hold it over several days. In fact, we will organize an entire week's worth of Christmas festivities to take place in honor of the accrediting team's visit: a Christmas Week!

Our Christmas Week will be a coordinated series of activities that will be intricately planned and meticulously implemented. Having our celebration over an entire week in March will also give us more time to impress our accreditors, to unify our faculty, and to build gradually toward the ultimate culmination of events at the Christmas party itself on March twentieth.

One of the key elements of the party will be its emphasis on diversity. Atheists. Anti-socials. Agnostics. All will be welcomed into the small cafeteria on March 20. Vegetarian and anti-vegetarian. Friend and foe. Specialist and generalist. Sunni and Shiite. The poet. The empiricist. The agoraphobe. The dreamer. The cliometrician. All of them will be encouraged to come to our Christmas party on March 20 where they will be treated to a truly inspiring, a genuinely sensational, an eminently toe-curling and earth-shattering Christmas yuletide experience.

Risks and challenges

RISK #1: Because this culminating event will be taking place in the small cafeteria, there is a chance that we will not be able to fit all the competing factions into such a confined segment of time and space and/or that there will be a high risk of conflict at the event. In anticipation of this challenge, we intend to order special tables and chairs to accommodate the various faculty and staff in attendance. Moreover, seating will be thoughtfully assigned to ensure harmony and respectful interaction throughout the event.

RISK #2: There are rumors circulating that certain key faculty will decline to attend the party due to their own selfish dietary allegiances. Should this happen, there is a very real risk that others will follow and that the entire premise of the all-inclusive, unifying event will be undermined. To ensure that this does not happen, we have taken great pains to reassure the competing sides of the aisle that the menu will be both robust and tailored to their unique pedagogical tendencies. We have also hired professional lobbyists to convince all faculty and staff of the vital importance to our school and its community of achieving 100% attendance at this Christmas accreditation masquerade.

RISK #3: Of course there is always a chance that the scene will be interrupted by an unexpected (and uninvited) visit from Thomas Pynchon. Specifically, because the scene will be a masquerade, there is an increased likelihood that Mr. Pynchon will attempt to sneak into the event disguised as an important figure from American history - or that he will be able to use his anonymity and a dearth of publicly available photographs to pass himself off as one of the college's institutional accreditors. To prevent this from happening, we will ask Timmy at the front entrance to screen all incoming faculty and staff for proper CECC credentials. Attendees will also be asked to remove any masks or costumes for inspection before entering the room, and all attendees will be subject to full body cavity searches as necessary. (Let's see Mr. Privacy and his high-paid team of literary insiders try to extricate the shoulder-length glove out of THAT!)

In short, we have taken all possible precautions to ensure that this celebration of regional accreditation and cultural inclusiveness will be a truly memorable milestone in the rapidly unfolding history of Cow Eye Community College.

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Add or remove a comma of your choice in all future versions of Cow Country! (And receive one signed paperback with the change.)
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Non-CECC donors who give at this level will be invited to attend the Christmas Masquerade itself on March 20. That's right! Your name will be included in the attendee list in all future versions of Cow Country! (You will also receive one signed hardcover edition confirming your attendance at the event.) NOTE: If you choose this option, please indicate your desired costume (i.e., a figure from American history), otherwise one will be assigned to you.
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